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Hi everyone, I hope you are getting off to a great start in 2023. It is time to make those resolutions and break them! Let’s face it, we’re fabulous just as we are. But those looking for love or worried about their relationships know I am here to help.  So Happy New Year!

Love Heidi 


Dear Heidi,

Happy New Year. I am 62 and not a bad looking gay man. Heidi, I have not had a date for over seven years, let alone a kiss. I hate grinder and apps and do not like gay bars. What can I do?  If I do not start to kiss a few frogs how can I find my prince? It really is beginning to get me down.

Martin, Canada Water 

Hi Martin, 

Thanks for your letter.

I hear your frustration. Trust me, there is a prince waiting just around the corner for you 

If you will only let yourself get out there and look. The bars and apps are not always for everyone and age is just a number these days. 

My friend, who was in a similar predicament to you, joined a gay hiking club and met the woman she is now with. Hiking is not for everyone but there are so many groups out there. Look for something that might interest you.

There are also a lot of dating agencies that set you up (though I have no experience with them). Or there are many different meetup groups online you could try first. Maybe you could try volunteering for a place you feel passionate about as you could meet like minded people? 

Or why not try the old-fashioned way of asking your friends if they can introduce you to someone, as this can sometimes work out well! 

I wish you all the luck,

Love Heidi

Can you make a relationship that’s like a comfortable blanket fun again?

Dear Heidi, 

I have been with my girlfriend for ten years now and she wants to marry. The problem is, I do not feel it anymore: she is like a comfortable blanket, all the romance is gone, we rarely have sex, and I want OUT – not marriage.

How do I tell her without hurting her?

Kim, Manchester

Dear Kim, 

I am sorry to hear this, but if you really want out of the relationship, I am afraid honesty is the best policy otherwise you risk hurting her more. It’s kinder in the long run to explain that you feel you are moving in different directions sadly, and it’s no one’s fault. But remember relationships take work on both sides; it’s possible if you have become complacent and walk away, you could regret losing the cosy blanket. Ten years is a long time so make sure you have thought it all through, even talk to a counsellor before talking to your partner.

I hope this helps, good luck. 

Kindest, Heidi 

About the author

Heidi Gammon

Heidi Gammon is a qualified integrative counsellor incorporating CBT, Person Centered and Psychodynamic theories and has excellent knowledge in issues such as: adoption, LBGTQI+, bereavement, relationship issues, trauma, anxiety, infertility, stress and more.

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