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Dear Heidi

My girlfriend has been with me for two years We really get on and plan to marry next year. But now she wants to try a threesome saying it will spice things up. I do not want to lose her but honestly it is not for me. What shall I do?

Madeline, Manchester


Madeline, first I am all for those 50 shades and experimenting sexually, and hats off to couples in open relationships – I am not here to judge. But not everyone is the same and if it’s not for you, that’s perfectly understandable. You never want to validate a relationship by doing anything you do not want to. It will only lead to resentment, jealousy, and all the ugly things you do not want a relationship to become.

Tell your partner how you feel. After all you are about to marry her. It could be it is just a fantasy, and we all have those. However, if she is insistent you may need to rethink whether this is the right person for you? What other sexual doors will she want to open if you reluctantly walk through the door marked threesome? Talk to her. 

Heidi

About the author

Heidi Gammon

Heidi Gammon is a qualified integrative counsellor incorporating CBT, Person Centered and Psychodynamic theories and has excellent knowledge in issues such as: adoption, LBGTQI+, bereavement, relationship issues, trauma, anxiety, infertility, stress and more. www.counselling-foryou.co.uk

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