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Spanking can be intensely erotic and pleasurable when it’s safe and consensual. Evidence of sexual gratification from spanking dates to the fourth century with numerous sex manuals, including the Kama Sutra recommending the practice as a way to enhance sexual gratification. Since then, scientists have found that pain in erotic settings alters the receiver’s state of mind, putting them into a state of trance and ecstasy.

If you’re looking into exploring spanking, here are a few things that you should consider first. 

Always get consent

As always, consent needs to be obtained and boundaries need to be discussed between everyone involved before engaging in spanking. For example, some people may find being slapped on the face pleasurable, while others might find this disrespectful. Don’t leave it to chance. Have these conversations with your partner before sex. It’s also important to pick a safe word that can be used to signal the end of sexual activity in case either partner is feeling physically or emotionally hurt. 

Start small

If you’re new to spanking, it is best for you and your partner to start off using a hand on the meatier parts of the body, like the thighs and the bum. You can experiment with different sensations of the hand, for example, using the palm for more of a thudding sensation or using the fingertips for a sharper stinging sensation. 

Get experimenting 

If you enjoyed spanking with a hand on the bum, consider exploring other sensations by spanking other parts of the body, or by using implements such as a paddle used to cover a wide area or a crop to target a specific area. Don’t be afraid to experiment on yourself too. Solo spanking can be a whole lot of fun. 

Remember aftercare 

Spanking can be intense and vulnerable for all parties, therefore it’s important that you make your partner/s feel safe and cared for during the time after sex. This looks different for everyone but can include cuddling, words of affirmation, debriefing, rehydrating, or attending to any minor injuries or spills.

Remember folks, spanking isn’t for everyone so if you try it but don’t like it, that’s totally cool. But more and more people are enjoying this particular aspect of BDSM play and, as we always say, don’t knock it till you try it. 

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About the author


Ling is based in Taiwan and is a hugely successful artist, model and writer. She has worked for Apple Daily in Taiwan and Hong Kong and has appeared extensively on television on Taiwan .

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