“Ultimately I want my vagina to be almost indistinguishable from any other. That’s not impossible and within my control.”
So, the truth about being ‘post-op’ is genuinely far stranger than fiction. I never ever doubted that my surgery would be life-changing. I did, however, kind of underestimate just how much.
It’s amazing how your body adapts to your new sex. It is almost as if it was always there. I have zero distress about the loss of my previous arrangement, if you know what I mean…but I do know that I was mentally very prepared ahead of surgery. I remain glad I took my time.
I knew what I had signed up to but the reality bites significantly harder than any preconceived notion you might have given yourself by doing a little pre-surgery reading.
I’m not being flippant and please be warned I want to just tell it like it is with good faith and a smile, because I know there isn’t much honest testimony out there, but to be blunt, my new vagina resembles a punched lasagne. It’s early days and Rome was not built in a day. I have enormous faith in my surgeon, Mr Thomas of Brighton’s Nuffield Hospital, and the final result.
Aftercare is fairly time-consuming and not terribly exciting at all. At present I’m expected to ‘dilate’ three times a day, meaning I need to use special kinds of dildo to maintain the depth and breadth of my new vagina.
There are stories on Youtube of women who haven’t dilated properly and they end up with only a couple of inches depth so it’s important!
Dilation doesn’t really sound too bad does it? It’s challenging and exciting in equal measure and offers me a modicum of input into my future as a woman. Like anything you get back what you put in. Just very literally in this case. It can be uncomfortable, especially with some burst stitches but you are playing the long game.
Any day of the week it amounts to about an hour and a half of your waking life and it hurts. You could say it’s a pain in the butt but you’d probably want to check your dilation diagram if that was the case. It is a little tiresome though.
You might spend ten minutes setting up. You then spend ten minutes apiece with ‘Little and Large’ as I call them (that or Bert and Ernie) and an awkwardly-angled mirror. So far so good. You then still have to douche and properly clean yourself before dressing is even an option.
It reminds me of the first time I saw and felt the guys at the hospital taking my packing out after surgery. Once the drains and catheter were removed this soldier was now officially on manoeuvers in unknown and hugely terrifying territory.
Just watching the packing come out was like witnessing an eighth wonder of the world. It was exactly like a ten-minute version of the magician’s trick with the hankies and the flags of all the different nations. But truly awesome to behold.
Ultimately I want my vagina to be almost indistinguishable from any other. That’s not impossible and within my control. You still need to put in the time though. It’s the most important relationship I’ve had in some time.
The most important thing is that I’m completely on-track and already healing very well.
I fully work and all is good with my world. My vagina and I are going to be spending the rest of our lives together and I can’t wait for the journey.
You can read Chrissy’s full blog here!
