Gay guys are forever giving their straight girl friends dating advice and tips on how to deal with men, so we thought it would be fun to ask a girl her advice for boys looking for boys in one of the world’s most promiscuous but least romantic cities: London.
Chappy founder Ollie Locke and Social Concierge’s Nana Wereko-Brobby are behind the dating game-changer. Nana says: “Dating in London and New York is tough enough without people swearing off apps entirely. It’s not a case of picking one platform over another. It’s a case of changing your mindset so you weave several tactics into your life in an enjoyable way. Which is why it’s more important you pick dating companies that suit your outlook/vibe and then dive in.”
So what rules and tips does Nana have for men looking for queer love in London? Let’s find out!
What is the sexiest drink for a queer guy to order on a date?
Oh, the classic martini.
Should you go all out with the hair/makeup/eyebrows/outfit on a date or go scruffy because that’s more real?
The secret to the perfect date look is quite the paradox when you dive into it. Regardless of personal taste in men, it is not about looking fresh-faced or scruffy, coiffed or messy, fashion-forward or well, fashionless. It is about looking put together but not manicured, styled but not overstyled, present but not overzealous. Unless the date is geared toward a particularly glitzy occasion, you should never plan on going ‘all out’. Dressing to impress your date is overrated – dressing to impress your date that you didn’t dress to impress is very in right now. Follow me?
Is this event proof that dating apps are often best complemented with traditional face-to-face meetings?
Absolutely. In 2018, we will see an explosion of curated events and partnerships that will redefine what dating is all about. Online meeting offline dating is not an ephemeral fad that will disappear – it’s here to stay. Sure, it’s nice to swipe through people from the comfort of your couch, but the major players fully understand that in order to build brand depth and drive loyalty, they have to curate events that enable their users to meet face to face to genuinely connect. Besides, you have to meet in person eventually anyway – so why not NOW?
If you want an open relationship or you’re just not ready for monogamy, should you say that right at the start?
The primary goal of the first 3 or so dates is to get offline and get to know someone. Until you do, how can you possibly know if you even want to have the sticky conversation about monogamy and relationships? Are they even worth the ‘what are you looking for?’ conversation? Allow yourself to open up and connect with the other person and if the chemistry is real, the conversation will organically follow.
Why is gay dating in London SO difficult? Too much choice? Too much expectation? Too much focus on money/job/property?
Gay dating in London is so difficult because dating in London is so difficult. 2-mile commutes somehow take 45 minutes, there is no central ‘hub’ where the masses congregate for a night out, the city is saturated with literally thousands of romantic choices, people are insanely busy and friend groups are cliquey. In tandem, these conditions make dating in general look quite bleak. As for gay dating, it’s exponentially worse as there are about 95% less people to choose from! Learning how to navigate the scene is tough, but undoubtedly worth the effort. As an outsider looking in, my best and brightest advice is to look for intimate, curated gay nights and LGBT-centric musical/artistic performances and shows and keep an eye out for new bar/restaurant openings by LGBT owners. Meeting people at these smaller events will slowly expand your social circle and allow you to meet more people in the long run, maybe even a special someone.
Is queer dating different from straight dating?
Gay dating and straight dating have never been all that different minus the obvious sexuality aspect. In the past five years, however, we’ve seen the two worlds diverge with the rise of dating apps and the notorious hookup culture. While both gay and straight dating have been subject to similar woes, gay dating has seen an explosion of ‘right now’ apps that have diluted the romantic scene. In addition, gay men have a much smaller pool of eligibles to work with. On average, anywhere from 2-7% of the UK population identify as being gay, so as you can imagine, it’s slim pickings!